We learnt last time about ‘what’ Attachment Styles are, and ‘how’ they develop. Now we’ll discuss the influence they have on leadership.
Wondering how your Attachment Style influences your leadership? Well that’s a great question! Attachment Styles not only have a significant impact on leadership styles, they can also influence team functionality, and organisational cultures. Hopefully the following will help you see ‘how’.
If you have a Secure Attachment congratulations! And well done to your caregivers, or well done you for developing a Secure Attachment (yes, Attachment Styles can be changed … thank goodness … but more about that later). Back to Secure Attachment. You will generally believe that others are trustworthy, worthy of receiving love, acceptance and belonging. You are emotionally intelligent, understanding the emotional needs of yourself and others. You most likely are self-aware, and relate authentically and transparently. You cooperate well in teams, but you’re not a pushover. You approach conflict with curiosity. You’re great at both leading and following. You deal with novel situations well. You enhance your teams self-esteem, competency, and mastery. You have a positive approach to work. You do your work in an efficient and effective manner. You don’t fear failure or rejection from others. And importantly, you are high performing and you have a great work/life balance.
If you have an Anxious Attachment, you’re definitely not alone. You believe that others are capable but unwilling or inconsistent in their response to your needs. You have difficulty showing empathy because you are too overwhelmed with your own emotional experience. You over-emphasize relationships. You can have angry outbursts when your needs are not being met. You are inconsistent and unresponsive to others. You are particularly vulnerable to organisational stress, during which you will seek security from your ‘in group’. You are motivated primarily by approval, and you constantly worry what others will think, therefore you constantly seek reassurance. You are very task focused. When your personal life is negatively affected, your work life is significantly impacted because you are overwhelmed by your negative emotions.
Finally, if you have an Avoidant Attachment those around you will definitely be able to ‘feel your vibe’. You believe other people cannot be trusted, therefore you depend on yourself for everything. You do your best to avoid feeling … both yours and others. You avoid conflict. You have difficulty emotionally connecting. You may look confident, but your independence is compulsive, and in turn effects your teams development. You are controlling and self-serving, often withholding support. You don’t delegate. You are quick to blame others, rather than taking responsibility. You are resistant to organisational change. You prefer to work alone, and work will interfere with your personal relationships. Even when you are stuck, stubbornly you do not ask for help.
Can you pinpoint your own Attachment Style? Great. But now what, I hear you ask. The great thing is is Attachment Styles can become more flexible and workable. For some individuals, their Attachment Style can change through continued self-awareness and work. This is the topic of our next discussion.